i'm a wishful thinker, my life is like a story to tell...

Burn out the sun, oh wait... Let's burn it anyway

2009-09-12T01:34:00.003+08:00

Finally! I got all the All Time Low albums, high five for me hehee. They're great and love their lyrics, not all tho cos few songs I don't really understand whats it's all about. Even randomly downloaded few songs I never heard before. I like this song 'come on come on' by Morgan Laurence.

"Dude, what happen to your hair?"
"Hahaa kan panjang hair mu lagi ka yo? Panjang kan eh cam dulu, raget"
"Oh shit Zee, really? I like you better with curly hair, but last time also hensem long hair"

Why few of my friends told me these? Yeah I got my hair rebonding again, just need to make it look smart and easy to control that's all PLUS I love my old hair do. Med-long and look like the guy from Boys like Girls. Pfftt yeah~ Oh yeah, before that I did take a picture of me with afro hair HAHAHAA.

I wanna run and hide somewhere til I feel safe to show myself outside again. I really miss her and every moment we had, yeah we're good friend and I like her being with me going out until we barely notice its after midnight. Now that she's busy.. I'm not sure what she up to but please why she just can't reply all my messages =(

Yeah I'm sad, helpless and hopeless SIGH' I got nothing to prove and she'll leave Brunei just in the next few days. Confession: I thought I'm unable to cry no more, after listening to one of her song she asked me to download and listen... Daym I cried like a little girl and looked like a lil bitch, was in miserable moment all night. I miss her so badly =( Blue and yellow, get it? yeah im sad.

Recent news I heard from a friend, I'M NOT A SWEET STALKER ALRIGHT! I DIDN'T EVEN TREAT ALL GIRL THE SAME AS IF THEY'RE MY GIRLFRIEND. Please be open minded, I'm friendly baa, don't be an asshole mouth saying I'm a sweet talker and I'm hitting on every girl I met. I don't like it and never think of becoming one. Shisshh! All those words I told to the girls I like came from this big sincere heart, I'm innocent.

Empty smile.

2009-09-09T13:29:00.003+08:00

Hey I'm back on blogging wuhuuu for that, i think... not sure how long I can find free time for myself and talk bout this screwed life *pout*. Yeah yeah some people thinks that "Uuuww he's good, living his life just like any cool kids did" and "Nazeee, daym you're lucky maaan. Fuun!" and "Gaaah WTF Nazeee, you're gay and idiot. You should live up your life and be out there".

Well these are just few of those simple reaction I got from gay friends (not homo haha!), best friend and strangers (don't ask me, friends of a friend?). Well all I can say to myself hmm lets see...
what's with this stupid insect... eh wait LOL almost forgot pfftt =D

What you got to know bout me (if you bother and read this anyway) since the day I realised that I'm living a fucked up life driven by this rusty mind and a broken heart.

1) I was once a broken man, not knowing much bout depression and frustration (blue and yellow, get it?). I learned love does exist thru my own worst experience. How I react? End up crying like a little girl lost her doll. Yep sigh' for almost 3 months I kept on crying. what..? Naze cried? That's stupppiiiid. Well YEAH I CRIED! WTH should I know, was young and knew nothing at all bout love and girl friend that much. The only idea I'd was blaming myself to death HAHAHA CHEESE RICE!~ So yeah, I learned and study more bout that special feeling, explore and asking myself and even ask friends about it (sounds crazy). To be love is the best feeling I ever had, to be missed and care are the butterfly effect that lift you up into the sun and feel warm inside. To be left alone is the worse dream I ever had, it's like grrrr urhh grrr let me crush everything that's in my way grrrr, yeah like that. I hate that, seriously. Why? When I gave and shared part of me with someone I love, why did she has to leave and sliced open this innocent heart. I can be trusted, a loving person, care for her as if she's the world and sweet honeycomb to me and *mute*. It'll take whole day to explain.

2) Bad history? Check that please. I don't wanna tell bout this one, I mean... trying to forget bout everything I did. It's bad, trust me. How bad? REAAAAAL BAD! Boner.

3) I like to listen great music. How to elaborate this... music+lyrics = me! Oh example? "How long can you expect me waiting, How long before I'm just a memory" - from TBS song name 'swing'.

4) I'm craaaazzy, yes I am. I'm open minded type of person, so I don't mind pffttt hee.

Awwhhh it's getting late. I miss someone... why does she has to do this and didn't reply my text...

status:updating blog

2009-08-15T01:48:00.002+08:00

requirement:
power cable - check
mouse - check
cooling fan - check
laptop - check
internet source - check
mobile phone - check
eye and brain - .............

sleepy eye and ada butterfly.... ngantuk haha nda jadi buat blog. suk ja
p.s, ku mrindui mu fuh~

something missing that used to build inside

2009-04-07T21:57:00.003+08:00

thought its just gonna be a normal day aih... well an awesome day i expected but then it turn out to be dull and made my day fade in colour =s didn't expect she already work in the same company as I'm in... SHE my ex-'angel' zandrabella huhuuoooaaa happy to see her and that's the truth, sad i'm no longer attach string with her, start to miss her badly hour after hour, recalled back what we'd done and most of it are all happy moments and we never quarrel, not once... those feelings ya know, i miss it so much, being cuddle appreciated and warm love day after day... i miss it all, i miss her most =( I lied whenever I say "biarkan tiabah" "apa lagi ne, nada pa2 g kami" "idupnya idupku, duli apa ku" "cehh ntah" when sometime I still hope to see and talk to her someday again, yeah someday... word used to calm myself... "someday ja ku blajar" "someday ku branti sigup" ermm

afraid: she's with someone i least expected and a dude with fuck face
worried: she's in trouble, i know she always kusut and even cry...
hate: i dont hate... it makes me feel stupid
love: love myself, but she... ermm "hapus aku" "phone call" "cute without the e"
miss: her smile, laughter, pujuk me, go to her house and lepak with her family...

she's the person who taught me not to be selfish and to play guitar, used to tell me be polite even tho beibun with my dudes. Killswitch Engage - A bid farewell. a song for her =) thank you zandrabella, I still remember the smell of your perfume =)

hey OII~

2009-03-30T15:13:00.002+08:00

Happy advance birthday to me shyeaaah received an early birthday present from family, still there's ManUtd Original jersey in dad's suitcase and wonder if that could be mine too hmm. oh well no wonder that fossil watch was in a perfect nice package, its from dad panya. both sis bought me something unique and cali like kipas aeroplane for laptop which used to bsantai dari tunggu laptop booting hahaa.

panas ari today, even najibo in bandar said so. downloaded a new form band, raget2 lagunya catchy g. still waiting for visa card....

god is beautiful, alhamdulillah

2009-03-30T10:22:00.002+08:00

i've survived living with amah alone hahaa shyt as hell since family aren't at home and went for holiday in KL. fetch them up at airport last night, thought i was late so i drove 140+km/hr hahaa. didnt know their arrival flight had been due to 10pm =s so... yeah had "dinner" with akmal panda at delifrance hahaa and all i could think of i just wana be outside and smoke couple cigg =) aha im quiet shy infront of other parents. you know that thought and feeling "not to make a mess and be gentleman" hahaa adui.

wohuuu, got what i wanted from KL aha happy fish shyt right now. even tho there's no D60 im still lucky tho =) thanks for the fossil watch dad and nike 5 shirts mom love both much, alhamdulillah.

"i could write thousand words to impress you, never been selected and perfected, nothing but truth and never once to lie, let's set up a party grab a girl and dance, i've put myself in different situation and thru all that along time so woohoowoowooo~"

goodbye my friends~

2009-03-25T17:10:00.002+08:00

fuh, woke up late today for work, amah g beulah ah adaka patut tidur dapan tv and nda di switch off nya aih. drove 'maharaja' car today, made me sleepy on way home since its too comfy for me tired+sleepy+off from work = celaka driving.

goin to bandar early later on, Lue text and informed me that we got futsal match rh ubd again, even bunga2 gtau theres gona be JIS chicks hahaaa.

upload new songs last night, happy with the 3 albums downloaded =)
"baby dont you return to me~"

become a legend, revolucao' all the way

2009-03-23T11:19:00.003+08:00

wuut wuuut!~ passed my resit examination last week hehee lucky bastard yes i am aha. have to retake two exam again which i hate most, chem and thermo, aih fucking fish banar haa~ alhamdulillah made it thru. well now i'm likely to be in process group dah, among with ajes raul and rady ronaldo hehee under sii wong fei hung gtu =)

arnold wazegager and jasni muncung came by to our apartment few days ago to give us briefing and meeting about our performances and challenges that are about to come in the future. and as usual in the end kami kana lanja hee pizza hut 8 pan large size woot wuuhuu~

had a tough day today, had a match with lue's family team against ex st-james student team. ehee won the match 3-1, i'm the goalkeeper as usual and bolos skali cos... ada ka patut bula tlapas and then da urg sambut blast dr blakang. but anyway was in good shape, one on one and risk taker hahaaa aku save penalty duuuuude!~ aiyay from gunners took the shot, i'm the last man who stand on my ground =)

bye bye family ku, selamat jalan to kuala lumpur hohooo kirim D60, jam fossil ma baju nike 5 hahahahaa aku suka aku suka =x

here comes the dull sun...

2009-02-17T01:05:00.002+08:00

slept at around 3am, woke up at 5.15am and off we went to orchid hotel. rehearsal rh stadium hahaa it was fun, lots of people and wawawiwaa haha, p gila panas nya rasa jadi bubuk kana jamur nda batah fuking fish =s been given a day off from work tomorow hehee relax.

oh yeah... for somehow with no reason i miss someone, craving to call her hp but then it's better not to. who am i kidding hahaa just a normal man doing my own thing, live my life to its best. only in here, i admit that i fell in love with diffrent ladies at different period of time but heh' never bother to move further and into a relationship... not even one. yeah they are fine, awesome, great, really into their personality and lifestyle. nothing wrong with them, just me and my dumbass thoughts.
yada yadaaa haha so what if other thinks that im ego and being 'jual mahal' hahaa~ maybe someday... yeah just maybe someday i'll meet this one lady i like and love most, be with her and never forget to tell her that she's beautiful in anyway anyhow... but for now hahaa i love my tucson wuuuh!!! in the future i might buy toyota celica and modify its exterior and interior as well as its performances or s2000 instead =) amin

time line of mine

2009-02-08T17:22:00.002+08:00

for the past few days i've been sitting exam and its quite giving me headache and trouble with my sleep. barely could rest, and in mind i kept on telling myself "fuck, it's for future, fuck!" hahaa. yeah i know within im still a kid with young heart but still im hardcore bebeehh~ last exam is on monday sigh' hope its easy since i've been study for hours now.

i learned that no matter what or in situation i'm in, there always be someone to guide, support or accompany me. for instance, we have been study for hours from 6pm till around 2am. yeah study for hours, i know in mind its boring but then when i have friends like them which i treat them like brothers hey its fun and makes life more easy, rather than study all by myself with no help at all. really appreaciate each of them, every person got their own profile or story, but in the end when we do the same job together we are one. even tho im not Liverpool FC fans, its true what their motto says "never walk alone" hahaa anyway fuck torres!~ ampun paaaak

Gemini the twin.

2009-01-26T02:24:00.001+08:00

got this from a friend thru email.

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. Gemini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey.
Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a be au tiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

points out its all true bout me.... yeaah! 2 tumbs up bebeeh

mandi hujan

2009-01-26T02:11:00.002+08:00

haa~ lama nda write blog ah, the other day das trying to rescue few friends cos their car can't make it to apartment since there was flood nearby. so i drove tucson to fetch them up, hahaaa like shit my car looks like submarine instead where in the end manage to park beside their cars and walk back to apartment hahahaa.

fuh felt so great today, played futsal for Suria FT as their keeper in mumong sport complex. won whole round match with just 2 'bolos'. beveq so called sponsor me his peter cech keeper glove~
anyway happy chinese new year gwai loo hahaa

noone want to sing bout your tragedy~

2009-01-02T00:19:00.002+08:00

acquired the new Fall Out Boy and The Academy Is albums this weeks, love em' both fuuuh~ love the lyrics and musics! "say I DONT CARE!" ahaaa~

tired tired tired~ unable to play football lately, still having that "scared to dribble" trauma aih sheyt... never mind that, maybe I should ask my uncle how to handle this soon. oh oh oh i miss that girl whom i gave roses and me-to-you teddy for her birthday =) miss you dear.

" if i'm the person in your dream, when you wake up please rest assure, i'm gonna appear in front of you any time now =) "

" I wanna scream 'I love you' from the top of my lungs
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me " - FOB

everyones leaving, not everyone sweating

2008-12-29T13:21:00.004+08:00

wooooot!~ football match against Amir's team, salute them for it was the first time played with them. Been waiting for that match all this while. scoreboard 2-2. uhrmm but i'm not that satisfied tho because of ermm... oh well maybe i'm just the only one feeling that way.

box of heart, added hundreds of doubts and solution, shake and stirred~ i miss you =)

lullaby

2008-12-29T02:52:00.002+08:00

its 2.52am now, cant sleep again aih... i miss nehh uhrmm sigh' ='s

i can be your poetry if you let me in,
singing infinite lullaby made just for you,
just to ensure you're having the sweetest dream each night,
and if you let me promise to take care of you everyday...
i wouldnt say no cos thats what this heart beats want.

and you deserve nothing but the best,
even though i cant be perfect...
i would do anything to get nearer being perfect =)

-to nehh' jubur kiuut-

i'd this dream...

2008-12-28T11:52:00.002+08:00

sheyt eh, can't get my sleep again lately. dreamt of this previously...

i was in this mall in uk, cos i still remember that place. somehow im in the car with my close neighbour which i've known her since kindergarden, and theres other guys which i dont really recognise them, assume that they're her friends... so out we go to that mall, were shopping i guess but somehow busy searching for a sweater for my neighbour. ermm... and when i ask her if she like it or not ermm she didnt bother to take a look. chose another clothes for her, i guess its a hoody. showed it to her and again she dont care at all. at the same time i saw cousins and friends of mine just pass by infront of me, as if im not there at all...

woke up in panting state, hmm and these words came right straight into this head... am i remembered? am i living the right way? do they still know me..?

sorry for broken english, got this headache since yesterday...

lamb chop, lame shop, paperplane, papercut

2008-12-25T00:40:00.002+08:00

"I've been thinking bout you lately,
something bothers me, sometime I'm hating you for this,
so all this while I'm self control from breaking the boundary i made,
i miss you when it rains, staying quiet safe from all memories.

now you're somewhere far,
I've got no reason why i should stay up late and say goodnight in the morning,
yet i miss you, and kept on calling your name unconsciously,
i know you meant it that night, cos i heard your cry before saying goodbye...
and those dried tears on your cheeks proves me...

i'm killed inside seeing you left,
and your last text makes me wonder when you gonna come back...
i miss you, but i've set my boundary to forget everything... "

papercut from crafting paperplane, feeling just fine yet still feels quiet...

semoga dan ku doakan nini ku agar sembuh secepat mungkin

2008-12-21T10:19:00.002+08:00

diminta tuan2 dan ladies sekalian menadah tangan dan doakan nini ku cepat sembuh, kna tahan d xptal lately, trima kasih dudes.

metallica - so what!
"Well, Ive been to hastings and Ive been to brighton
Ive been to eastbourne too
So what, so what
And Ive been here, Ive been there
Ive been every fucking where
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little cunt

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

Well, Ive fucked the queen, Ive fucked bach
Ive even sucked an old mans cock
So what, so what
And Ive fucked a sheep, Ive fucked a goat
I rammed my cock right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you

And Ive drunk that, Ive drunk this
Ive spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what
Ive had scank, Ive had speed
Ive jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little cunt

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
Yeah, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

A-hahaha!

Yeah!

Ive had crabs, Ive had lice
Ive had the clap and that aint nice
So what, so what
Ive fucked this, Ive fucked that
Ive even fucked a school girls twat
So what, so what
So what, so what, you boring little fuck

Well, who cares, who cares what you do
And, who cares, who cares about you, you, you, you, you, you

So fucking what!
Yeah"

just stay here and remember all the sins we'd done

2008-12-19T16:30:00.002+08:00

i'm just spending my time with music lately, listen and read their lyrics, and then sing-a-long with it. having trouble with my morale, sigh wish i could live 1000 years more... this to fix all my mistakes, my sins, my misfortunate self and all those not to care stuffs. Ate Mc'D prosperity burger lately and i say its yuukkk, all i could taste was just onions and black pepper eishh apa neee, rather eat big mac uhh.

"do you still remember?
the time we found one another,
and again mistakenly thought you're my friend?
do you still remember?
we had fun, teasin each other and laugh about it

are we happy back then?
i remember all those songs we listen to each night,
and the time i gave you a rose and a lyric,
i really meant it that night and you give me those sign and said yes.

it's just a dream, never bother to care
living with imperfect lie,
now i want my freedom, not to bother time and time again
am i happy now? am i..."

hujan oh hujan, hati ke hati tapi matanya ke hati?

2008-12-10T20:09:00.002+08:00

i don't care if love is all about me! hahaa nice song from FOB. It's been rainin heavily here, calm and breezy yet love it. I got these lines running around inside this head for a while, it goes "i don't wana live in a world i never knew, broken vision unsettled mission and i'm somewhere between, the person i am today is just what i want to be till the best of me run out of time and collapse 6 feet under."

hair getting long sigh, miss siti asked me to cut it short sigh', daym i love my hair and have been keepin it for 9 months now. apa nee miss, nda jua apa wah, pandai lakat ku blajar hahahaa~ so what im bout to do is ermm at the end of this week im gona drop by phoenix salon to trim it abit, yeah JUST ABIT~ hahaa. me and dos santos mandi ujan d mall today hahahaaa kan triak2 time running ke krita rasanya aihh

tucson back on track with new bontot

2008-12-06T21:33:00.002+08:00

ah ah aahh~ krita gue udah fixed cantek amaaat, daym really miss my car. kiss the steering wheel few times just now and feel unfamiliar when driving it, since i drove echo after that incident happen. woke up early this morning since class been cancel, and off to berakas for futsal match against Najibooo's team. wasn't that fit and still felt sleepy, i just let the other team scored, oh yeah im the keeper ofcourse. the sleepy keeper hahahaa.

ku ingin tenung wajah gembira mu, agar deria kesenangan hati dapat ku rasakn lagi~ selamat malam, aku lelah hari ini, goodnight goodnight.

p.s: E O A A, E O A A, E E A O!~ daym im addicted to this music, Dos santos ja tau ne hahaa. this music kicking it~

it's all clear now

2008-12-04T18:22:00.002+08:00

puan2 dan tuan2, and anak2 ladies biskita... hahaa saya, Nazerul, ingin mengumumkn haty ini tidak lagi resah malah pun dari patah. bak kata urang, dmana ada kemahuan dsitu ada jalan dan juga tuhan slalu bersama kita, ingat lah tuhan kerna dia sayang kat kita. walaupun dtimpa kesusahan, kita hanya di uji, yang kuat iman nya lagi baguih.

thanks to Dos Santos for lending his PD, i'm good to go with loud bass music, and it sounds great with my gaming headphone a4tech. feeling superb with no worry attached. fuhh baru balik dari bandar dudes, spatutnya nada class ri ni p since sii tutor chem tu mau da class so pa bulih buat.
buring eeh these few days dbandar, ada plg siuknya... cusen tersayang cam nda btagur g.. aih... lau ku dpt cuci pala sendiri mau ku ni, pala ani g karas payah2 kn pikir hal sendiri. lam bab ane ku bsalah brabis laah, buleh secara rela kna dauk g stampik pai bjahit rh kirai sbalah aih... ntah cna kn minta ampun, greed rules every man desire aihh...

table have turn and i learn that i'm trying to find myself an exit from all this confusion and temptation. if only i could fly, trying hard to overcome my fear and lack in confidence, but trying wasn't enough and i fell drastically. nasib haty ni maseh ingat kn tuhan, ku lupa tuhan sayang smua urang, sampai2 tmimpi2 buruk ma bala n then bangun da rasa kn smayang. alhamdullilah ku sayang diri ku dari ku sayangkn urg lain.

wish i could stop by and just say hi instead havin those long conversations that lead us somewhere and in the end both say goodbye. tapi nda apa lah, dunia tetap bputar walaupun ku harapkn masa dbrantikn walaupun tuk skajap hanya tuk usai balik mistake2 ku. im a trouble maker yes i agree, p nda smua ku dpt fix every mistakes yg ku done before. to parents ku, sorry brabis ma pa, isuk lusa lau ku bjaya d hari yg kelak da ku sponsor kamu blayar. krusi urut? ps3? krita sport? sabut tia saja, insyallah lau umur ku nda branti naik ku baah kn tia, jan ja suruh ku gunting rambut udaaaah hahaa.

harder than you know...

2008-12-01T00:14:00.002+08:00

sometimes I wonder whether sweet love even exist, I'm still wandering and search for something I'm not sure of. Driving me crazy..? naah it's not that simple, like a song, only the writer know it well what the song really means. no matter how good I tell someone, it's not good enough and not that simple as what they think. so here a song lyric from escape the fate...

You said this could only get better
There's no rush cause we have each other
You said this would last forever
But now I doubt if I was your only lover

Are we just lost in time?
I wonder if your love's the same
Cause I'm not over you

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

How can I miss you if you never would stay?
If you need time I guess I gotta wait (I gotta wait)
Inside me now there's only heartache and pain
So if I'm the fire, you've become the rain

Are we just lost in time?
I wonder if your love's the same
Cause I'm not over you

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Girl you're driving me so crazy

And if you don't want me than
I guess I'll have to go (I guess I'll have to go)
Not loving you is harder than you know
(Yeah)

So I'll make the call
And I'll leave today
I'm gonna miss you cause I love you baby
And I'll make the call
I'm leaving today
And leaving always drives me crazy

Leaving always drives me crazy

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
(Yeah)

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

And if you don't want me than
I guess I'll have to go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Girl You're driving me so crazy

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

3 step back, 2 step forward...

2008-11-30T12:53:00.002+08:00

read an email sent by Dos Santos and found out these are true.
GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, but is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

hmm i'm better off on my own...

away day. philipino dudes! game over! continue or end game, END!

2008-11-30T01:06:00.003+08:00

fuuuhh had our away day at Dynasty restaurant for lunch, there were Jasni, Arnold and Hajah as well. so we OTPS present ourselves there except for Najib and Hazman for cant make it to be there. wonder what happen to Hazman, for Najib he was away off to KK. Been bullied by Jasni, aihh he said save 1/3 for that space in stomach for breathing, other wise I'm gonna suffocate for not enough breathing hahaaa. oh yeah Dos Santons bought his new phone today, hehee rugget aah. lucky him cos he also got voucher for his astounding remark and performance in ITB.

ohh and when we're off to mobile shop, there's this girl, a sales lady there, she thought we're philipines hahaaa. so yeah we're blur and funny how she thought bout us. she's friendly and the first thing i noticed bout her was her eyes, attracted to that kind of eyes with her silent cute smile as if itching to have conversation and get to know lot more. Her name uhrmm ziemah, didn't ask tho cos its there on her shirt hahahaa and shes's 19 this year and I know her birthday date as well. woot woot~ our intake panya, but she seems... naah nevermind. for no reason.. I'm starving to know her lots, her eyes *drooool* hahaa.

aihh im painted in blue, black hole inside this empty heart, pump with no melody of beats. I'm giving up. despair and sadness, what possibly went wrong to myself sigh. if only she knew, if only she understand, if only she could in the same phase as me. maybe... just maybe... I'm better off alone, there's no reason for me waiting anymore, no reason to hold myself being the victim of love tragedy, yeah as they said I'm ego or mana2 lah... she kept me hanging, for that I'm clueless what she wants... for all i know, I'm not that perfect for anybody. that's my thought of myself. 3 years until today, to fall in love is the best idea i ever had but its not! crap and bullshit for me, SMC laaaa then I'll change my mind! I'm a decent guy? pffttt, I'm sweet? craap! I'm friendly? cehh! for these... there a song inside this head and it goes "if I could write lyrics bout you how come I never had one, I'm pointless having myself around you, self denying ain't I'm made of, wish and tell for that I'm lost on my own, so much sadness what happen to my happiness?" i miss you... hope that's the last thing any lady out there heard from me... goodnight.. goodnight...

a song for the ladies... a song for her, sigh

2008-11-28T21:23:00.004+08:00

cute is what we aim for - the curse of curves

I've got the gift of one liners
And you've got the curse of curves
And with this gift I compose words
And the question that comes forward
Are you perspiring from the irony
Or are you sweating to these lyrics
And this just in
You're a dead fit
But my wit won't allow it
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse of curves
So with the combination of my gift with one liners
And my way
My way with words
It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped
And you're on the gossip team
You're making something out of nothing
And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)
From what I've heard with skin you'll win

We all have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah, that's where mine go
that's where mine go
We all have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah that's where mine go
Where the reality grows:
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
With skin you'll win
Skin you'll win

3 days off from work

2008-11-27T20:40:00.002+08:00

urhh boring days, thought its gona be a relax and enjoyable day for me. instead i got nothing to do after taking these 3 days off, and last night me and Hafiiz walcot got ourselves some adventure. So there we were, looking for destination and point rally, stop and go, stop and go hahaa. we went out and to our first destination, soon lee KB. then off we go to Lumut highway and to Anduki park at around 9pm. p.s i'd my allergy last night after consumed shrimp down to this belly. He drove his car and we're like the patrol officer there, hoping to see something unusual or so, but hope failed us. and down we go to vokasion school area, dark and straighway path, nothing happen there... so we keep on moving to gurkha housing where theres no other people live just around the corner. again nothing happens, at this time i felt itchy around my body but told hafiz it should be okay unless i feel drowsy. last destination, Arcaaaaaa aka billionth barrel, hahaa smoke, 'lepak', ate lays!!!~ Dos Santos was there too but didnt join us cos we're far ahead directly under Arca, so he went home, maybe he's just tired from KB. around 11pm we head back home cos wasnt feel so good at that time, felt abit drowsy and warmness all around my body, itchy too like hell.

yeaaah this saturday, away day atlast and its at centrepoint hehee.

i'm out of luck, spare me some

2008-11-24T18:03:00.004+08:00

11.40am out from BLNG, 11.50am bought octane booster for my car since its newly service and changed 2 brand new tyres. 12.05pm bought nasi katok near Dos Santos house...

then things happen like one crazy shyt day!!! im out of luck, im out of mercy, im out of words... reverse the car after pressin the gas abit just to move it from the lawn and there it happen... shattered glass, broken bumper and one hell concrete block fell down. really pissed myself off, there goes my next few months allowance for fixing my car again aihhh. thousand apology to the house owner for my reckless and thousand middle finger at my own face. just got myself home from police station, report explain and report explain aih... ampun paaaa, nda sengaja. bek udah xdent cane ja, mun xdent rh jalan raya aih i might be dead dah. bad luck eh but i dont believe in it, yang sudah tu sudah, perkataan nyasal hanya ungkitan setan, sudah di tentukn tuhan, reda sajalah..... udah jatuh dtimpa tangga lagi aduiii

sorry mostly to Dos Santos, Hafiiz walcott and Hakeem Gustur. nasib kamu nada pa2, nasi $1 but damaged done $???? guilty as charged. thank you to OTPS 2008 for coming over and there to support, tungkal pala lau nada durang, ntah2 mental kali ku sigup2

these words came up into me lately

2008-11-21T22:58:00.002+08:00

Tomb is the cheapest home I could get for myself.
If you're getting in my way, just don't bother to remind me not to kick your ass.
thinking bout her its just like a drama, wouldn't it best not to kill me with your ignorance?
I often misuse the word ego and agony, instead i mixed them and waaala egony!
she said im ego, they said im ego, and i said its the curse of my dad so blame him.
im made of jealousy, jealousy the cousin of greed, greed is the appetite need for me to move on.
i've got the gift of curse, with this curse i can make lyrics made from the way i live. even tho its a curse, i made it out from nothing to a gift i appreciate.
tight hug, sugar lips, nice hips, perfect body language, sweet smile and this hand tells me to touch her, touch her...

I'm a risk taker, not afraid to die, not afraid to take a challenge, not afraid to be in a war, but i do afraid to lose everyone i know and someone that cares bout me....

6 stiches, a hero or wasteful attempt. daym it

2008-11-20T10:46:00.004+08:00

this is what i get playing soccer for granted. happen yesterday during soccer training along with other OT dudes. trying to score by heading, seems that theres space to score... unknowing a friend tried to clear the ball by heading, so it was 50/50 ball and eventually we headbutt. crazy shyt as hell i was able to turn around, moving myself away for abit to reduce the impact. asked a friend whether theres any bleed on my forehead, he said "nada pa2". so jog few steps and wondering why there's thick liquid running down to my left eye, noded down and swipe it off from blocking my vision. realised theres drippin of blood on my jersey and i stood there for a moment and come to think "eh... darah? puaka banar baju ni, time futsal sama jua". so i turned around jog back to goalie post and ask a friend who played for defence "bdarahkah..?" "bdarah tu yooo" hahaa daym, thought i would be okay after that headbut. continous blood dripping onto my france jersey, splashed my head with water and cover the wound with a beanie which i got it from my car.

later that night i asked hafiiz if he could accompany me to panaga hospital, asking him few times whether it hurt if the doctor sew on skin. unfortunately we're asked to go to KB hospital for it, so we went there instantly and it was raining cold. got my stiches for the 2nd time, 1st it was when I errrr lil johnny down there hahahaa. eyelid injected, sew and done, 6 stitches the doc said. whats worse there was 3 other people with him and keep on asking me question while the doc knit needle into my upper eyelid. and i kept on being quiet as i was taking my mind off on my hp, waiting for her to message me up. so the other 3 lastly asked me, "okay kau kah? baik kau jawab, karang kami pikir kau pengsan tau ilang ingatan". hahaa no mercy from them... aihh

i am not happy, do not distrurb while im asleep

2008-11-18T17:28:00.003+08:00

hohoo visited blng plant today, walk walk sight see, walk walk sight see again and again. bought sampo merah aah, bida rasanya payah2 d siruk aih. cant sleep last night, kept on waking up and felt wasted with unsettled feeling... hmm if only i've got someone to share this with and accompany me thru the night till im knock out asleep hahaaa.

oh hell this and that, im better off alone, never knew its all just wasting my time. these words its useless, these lyrics are just paper oil sets on fire, these smiles being untrue and i dont give a daym if im being left decompose waiting for someone to shriek for my name. pffftt...

anxious, hype, asleep. daym caffein

2008-11-17T23:02:00.002+08:00

urhhh im wasted today, hot hot heat hahaa and digesting lots of caffeine drinks this morning. resulting myself cant sleep after coming back home from work, really tired tho. tomorrow we're gonna see sight BLNG plant again, just hope its not gona rain like the other day. caught cold and almost fell ill sigh...

hmm she said her hand was too lazy to reply everyones text, including mine... hahaa and she thought im angry bout that til she told me she's gona offline scared of me being pissed off. lalalaa~ was about to get mad abit but luckily im tired and sleepy. lucky lucky girl, im still waitin for her right now like an empty letter waitin for something to be written on it.

Glory glory Manchester United!

2008-11-16T17:22:00.002+08:00

Barclays Premier League
Old Trafford, Sat 15 November

MANCHESTER UNITED 5
Ronaldo 3, 89, Carrick 45, Berbatov 49, Welbeck 84

STOKE CITY 0

fans in Brunei said their lost against Arsenal was just a coincidence as Arsenal lose their match recently but the red devils won their match.

restless corpse

2008-11-05T16:49:00.002+08:00

urhh tired ehhh, panas g ermm... and tommorow start end of semestar exam uhh... gona drive back to bandar later, just me hakeem, hafiiz, jay and ajis staying in nazira. *kusut* uhrmm feel abit awkward these days, into liking this girl but uhrmm situation brings me down and left me clueless. to be or not to be~ might as well take a deep sleep and think bout her after that, ukan satu, pi 3 gadis~ hahaa daymm

One United, Go!

2008-11-02T11:31:00.003+08:00

Barclays Premier League
Old Trafford, Sat 1 November

UNITED 4
(Ronaldo 3, 44; Carrick 29, Vidic 57)

HULL CITY 3
(Cousin 23, Mendy 69, Geovanni (pen) 82)

what a beautiful game that was, been shouting as if im the one playing on old trafford field haha.

other matches result:

Tottenham H.

2 - 1

Liverpool

Stoke C.

2 - 1

Arsenal

Chelsea

5 - 0

Sunderland

hahahaa chelsea destroyed sunderland, and liverpool..? kam apa nya mu..? hoho~

nak,tidoooor,sampai,mampus

2008-11-01T16:01:00.002+08:00

urhhh... hot day+ 2 maths session i'd this morning, really put me into a serious bad mood and knock me off being sleepy in class. shyeaah karang balik KB wuuu!~ or maybe just gona sleep over at erwan's place tonight.

aciident! street soccer? heavy rainfall? thats what we did

2008-10-31T20:17:00.006+08:00

wooooo us, won the match against najib's frens. just after the match it start to rain heavily here at bandar, so yeah with our childish instinct still attached and within ourselves we play under the rain running here and there and even took shower rain water from our apartment rooftop. daymn!~ i think we gonna catch cold soon. oh yeah, this early morning at around 2am, we went to a live accident scene, heres the conclusion: the driver drove mazda 3 at around 180kmhr, but whats funny is that he told us he drove at 80kmhr haha. the car crash directly towards the stable line, and theres go the front axle wheel with the engine, look at the pics dos took.

Headache.

2008-10-30T15:43:00.002+08:00

it's been a week since i can't sleep properly. class were cancel today in itb, bummer... if i knew earlier i'd rather sleep till its 3pm haha. oh well

2008-10-30T15:24:00.001+08:00

Barclays Premier League
Old Trafford, Wed 29 October

MANCHESTER UNITED 2
Ronaldo 14, 30

WEST HAM UNITED 0

we.us.you.know.who.you.are.

2008-10-30T01:37:00.003+08:00

these are us, the OT (operation technician) hahaa. picture of us chill out during lunch and celebrating raya.

me.the sleepy head.dos santos

2008-10-29T23:02:00.004+08:00

urrhh failed my latest test on water treatment topic, cos was so busy and sleepy causing me to flunk terribly. but hey look, we manaaged to take picture with hafiiz while he's still in his dream world hahaa and he got the highest mark for the test =)

Tests!

2008-10-29T10:57:00.001+08:00

Urhh in blng right now n just finish takin test on water chemistry. A normal and easy test i assume yet later on this afternoon there will be another test on water treatment. Hope it would be easy tho cos lots of details to read. Miss si nehh' again, 7 months left to see her again.

Tests!

2008-10-29T10:49:00.000+08:00

Room mates, crazy bastards haha.

2008-10-28T21:39:00.002+08:00

thats us. me.apiz.dos.rady. hahaaha. till out of cig do us apart~

Rain rain come again, til the next dawn I'll fall asleep silently.

2008-10-28T21:21:00.002+08:00

it's been raining heavily and always make me wanna say "crazy shit day, aihh" haha ain't complaining tho cos rainfall been my favourite weather since I was 2 years old. As my old fellas said, whenever it rains they will know where to find me and that is inside their room's closet, asleep. Hahaha if only my picture were taken at that time. So yeah I do love rain, especially heavy rainfalls, it cools down the environtment, calm wind with a mix of warmth feeling inside me, the feeling of relax and nothing that worries me.

Me and otps dudes havin our plant see sight, it was awesome and fun. with our coverall and protection equipment, we walked in a bunch and theres that time when short period of heavy rainfall poured down as it might, we went crazy from shouting nonsense to laughing endlessly. Overall, FUN! Love my workgroup mate. starting to miss sii nehh' again and even dream of her last night. wish she's alright and everytin okay there. its rare for me feeling and act this way, and im willing to wait for her no matter the distance we're in. i miss the time you called me sayang and i called you behh, i really miss you =')

fish oh fish, called mine fishyt

2008-10-27T14:25:00.003+08:00

yeah finally got these pictures of us caught fishes and thats me at the most bottom doin the bull gazer posture hahaa dumbass~ (switchfest: hip hip hooraaayy yampuiii)

assignment gaaahh! presentation? gaaaah!

2008-10-27T14:13:00.002+08:00

2 days ago we had to hand in our maths assignment which errr almost all of us haven't properly done it yet... so by human logical, interaction and social behavior hahaha we worked and solved it out together just like putting our brains into one jug of coke where everyone have the same idea and doubt to solve. even yesterday was quite an embarassing day for me, was having our presentation and each of us were asked to present any one topic that we studied about in BLNG. so as usual i wasn't able to prepare much which in the end i found myself speaking flawless where even myself cant remember what i was blaa blaa about... i was panic and a moron eishhh such a cruelsome environtment that was. but hey, managed to get 65 mark but a cousing got a mark higher hahaa tough luck! ciaaao for today, still cant sleep properly and i miss sii nehh' if only she knew im hunger for her smile =)

hyper sleepyhead!

2008-10-27T13:52:00.002+08:00

its been 6 days now since i cant sleep, tak dapat tidoo laa aih bangang kali ntah napa. have to force myself lying on the bed and sandwich myself with blanket til I could fall asleep. hmm still wondering why... maybe its just because i think too much or perhaps something gona happen on me or someone i know... but then all i know i miss her so much day after day, if only she's here so that i could talk and spend my time with her, and if only i could be there for her, whatever it takes the risks i've to get through i would do it just to be with her. for now maybe its just my imagination which im just hoping someday somehow it'll eventually come true. hmm... wishing everythings alright and comes true in the end... really miss her sii #7 jubur ciuut gerrard lover =)

im haaapppyy wuuhooo!

2008-10-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

yeah at last, the day i've been waiting for... PAYDAY!~ yup thats right, too happy til accidentally cut my finger with a newly bought gillette turbo shaver hahahaa crap!~ paid dad $200 for laptop, $1000 left to pay him back aihh insane but hey it worthed. without it i wont be typing these up and update myself with latest soccer news.

almost forgot, 2 days ago i went fishing with few switchfest crew: david, byby and kam. well~ caught a fish that day and it's the biggest among others, so tell me who wouldnt be too happy bout that =) wish could post a pic of that fish but its with byby, gonna get it later. its 12.33am, and class starts at around 10am *sigh*

two roommate of aren't able to come to apartment due to the heavy rain tonight. room filled with silence and boredom...

woaaa? blog..? never thought I would make one

2008-10-22T23:57:00.000+08:00

shyeaah blog! uh im new with this blog thingy yet tryin to learn bit by bits, always thought that blogger are gay especially for men cos its like writing a diary or complaining bout their life. hahaa but then i changed my view towards blogger after few friend of mine asked me to click and read their blogs. well... so.. here i am haha just spending my empty use-less time here. im nazerul =) and sorry for my english grammar mistakes hehee